Why This Woman Loves Her Man

Deployment #2. January 10, 2013. Audrey is 4. Jacob is 22 months. We have less than two weeks left before Jimmy is done in the Navy. Another two weeks or so and we're moving home, to Texas, to live in Austin again.
While emailing back and forth I told him I loved him. He replied with 'Why?'. and this was my response.

Because you said in an email "Tomorrow makes two weeks until I get to come home. I like all the ways time can be measured, but what I like most is that when it's done, I get to be with you." 

Because you're sexy and smart and honest. Because you make me laugh. Because you call me. Because you work really hard, for us. Because you're a fantastic kisser and make my knees turn into jelly, and my toes curl. Because you're romantic and sweet. I love you because you love me. I love you because you're the better part of me. I love you because you make me a better person and you make me happy.

The reason that is on my mind most lately is the kissing... I hope I don't lose my mind before he gets home, because I just might. Sometimes the days drag on and one can feel like a week. Before I know it we'll be looking back at this time in our lives, remembering fondly the homecoming, the smiles, the kisses, him hugging the kids, laughing with them, holding my hand again... feeling whole again. I know we're going to be so happy in our life together. I can feel it inside me, I can feel it for certain. 

I'm the luckiest woman in the world, and so extremely happy. I love James Allen Tedder and can't wait to see what the next chapter of our life includes. 

-Mrs. Victoria Nicole Tedder

Meltdown

I just read something about homecoming on the Stennis wives' page and... I kind of lost it. I got up and checked on the kids, and Audrey had snuck into my bed (she does this sometimes and i have to move her back to hers). I was going to move her, but then I thought for now, until I go to sleep, it's okay. I turned back to leave the room. I felt so restless. I just had to move. My gaze landed on the picture of me & Jimmy sitting on our dresser... we were sitting on a late night train from Chicago back home to Waukegan. Our heads were together, foreheads touching, smiling. He was looking at me with that sexy grin that he does. That look. My god.

I walked out of the room and sat on the stairs and burst into tears.

I don't know why, exactly. I missed the frg meeting yesterday... and it was such a huge one. They gave all the information about homecoming. A friend gave me the info. this evening post meltdown-crying-jag-on-the-stairs, so that was nice.

I just... ache for him. I tried to write him to explain it, I tried to think of some beautifully poetic metaphor for what it was like being without him, being so close to having him home again.

I wrote:

...and then ofcourse the reunions will happen...

 and i'll be whole again.

anyway...
i just miss you so much, you know? it just hurts. it's so close now i can feel it. but i can't, too. it's... like...

i don't know. i can't write anything poetic sounding right now, i'm tired. i'm tired of feeling like writing poetic things about how much i miss you, because i'm tired of missing you. i'm tired of missing you.

i want to go to sleep now so that i can wake up and it's one day less and we're one day closer... i'm just going to put this stupid day behind me and move on.

What can  say? He's my everything. He's been gone for seven months and sometimes I'm not sure if I remember what it's like to be kissed, to be held, to be made love to, to see his smile, to hold his hand.

God I can't talk about it... I just can't. I want it now. This is torture! The anticipation is torture!

Goodnight... when I wake up, it'll be one more day behind me. A stupid day at that, Valentine's Day. While I didn't get flowers, I did get a wonderful phone call. He loves me with all his heart.

Pop Up Card with Vellum Paper & Sewing!

I made this card tonight & am so thrilled with it. It's the first time I've ever: (1) made a pop up card, (2) used vellum paper, and (3) did some hand sewing on the card.

What do you think? Likes? Dislikes? Let me know!

Front View

Inside View

Maybe the inside is missing something, but I'm too tired to work on it anymore tonight.

Valentine's Day "Tree"

Audrey just adores it. :)

Card Folder

After lovely baby showers, making & writing thank you cards seemed like a very daunting task. Plus, I still had to unpack all the gifts & organize the baby's room, & & &! So, for my friend, Brenda, I decided the perfect gift would be a set of already made thank you cards.

Today I made a folder to hold them. I'm very happy with the way it turned out. I followed a very good tutorial here. Thanks Hand Stamped By Lacey!

I hope my friend really enjoys my latest project. I had so much fun making it for her. Can't wait to meet the beautiful baby boy that will be arriving soon.

Baby Shower Thank You Card

What do you think?

Lazy Day Couch Cuddles

Today, I miss lazy day couch cuddling the most. I want to cuddle on the couch with him and feel him against me, his arms wrapped around me. We'd probably talk about how lazy we were feeling, what we wanted to do today, what we wanted to eat. We'd drink coffee. We'd be warm, and together. You don't really realize how truly awesome those moments are until you haven't experienced them for a while. I guess that's not true though, I've always felt those moments are awesome even while they were happening. Probably especially while they were happening. A blanket is no substitute for my man's arms. I like how during those moments he takes up a lot of my senses. I can smell him, feel him, see him. Sometimes I taste him, lol. Couch kisses are lovely. His absence is this void in me, in my heart, in my life, in my happiness. I long to have him back, to have him home.

"You're Just Too Good To Be True"

I can't take my eyes off of you. You'd be like heaven to touch, I want to hold you so much. At long last love has arrived, thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true.

I fell asleep last night singing that song, remembering when we were first dating. I remember that morning so vividly. He made me coffee (knowing I'd been up late with him the night before, and knowing I was probably in need of a pick-me-up) and brought it to me at the hostess stand. He had added some of the most delicious real (I honestly don't think I'd ever had the real stuff before) whipped cream from the back. He sang that song that morning while he worked, before the store opened, and kept smiling at me. Come to think of it, I think he was up at the hostess stand more than usual, he kept finding excuses to be up there, or in the bar across the partition. Cleaning the wood, like Paul always told us to do, but that no one ever really did. I can't be sure, it's been so long since those days. But, I do know that liked me. I was, naturally, already head over heels.

Last night wasn't anything particularly special, he just got the chance to call. And that's all that it takes, hearing his voice, being reminded that he loves me. That's all I need.

I'm taking this writing class, and I feel like now more than ever, I want- I long- to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I want to do it well, but every sentence is a struggle. I'm a picky person when it comes to certain things, and my writing is one of them.

I've said I love him so many times I find it hard to come up with a new way to say it. Do you know love like this? Does anyone? I mean, this love is indescribable and unbelievable. I have to shake myself sometimes to realize I'm not dreaming. This is my life. He is my man. He is my heart and I'm his, and we have our whole lives to spend together, growing more in love every single day.

I'm the luckiest woman alive. I truly am. I long for the days when he's home again, back in my arms. We'll have a period of adjustment as usual, and it will even be awkward. I'll be nervous, and so self concious. I can't wait until I'm kissing his lips again.

I told him I wanted to punch a couple in the movie theater because they were kissing and being cute and he laughed and said, "I'll give you kisses when I get home. Y'know, just one, maybe two. But still, kisses none the less." I duly informed him he wouldn't stop kissing me until he had to leave again. It's true. He won't. I'll make sure of it.

We are looking at some very happy times in our not too distant future. Very happy times.

Have I mentioned I'm madly in love with Jimmy Tedder? I hope everyone knows love like this.

My Mission

My mission today is to get this house on it's way to being cleaner & to complete one of the "big to-do"s (these include things like rearrange the furniture in the bedroom, organize the kids clothing and get rid of the too small stuff, organize closets, taking the couch cushion covers off and washing them, etc).

I think today I will work on cleaning the downstairs and organizing -& possibly if i get to it, rearranging the furniture in- my bedroom. I also would like to hang the curtains up in my bedroom finally. Most of the other windows have curtains now, but not ours, and I have everything I need so I don't know why I haven't gotten around to it yet.

A few other goals for today are (1) play school with Audrey & practice writing letters and (2) have alone play time with Jacob while Audrey naps. We'll work on his standing and pulling up and talking and we'll play games like "ride the horsie" (bounce on my knee) and peek-a-boo and "oops you dropped it". He recently learned this game. I'll put him in his jumper or high chair or swing and give him a toy. He'll drop it and listen to the sound it makes when it hits the floor. I'll say "Oops! You dropped it!" and I'll hand it back. Eventually I'll switch the toy to one that will make a different sound. We use blocks, plush toys, rattles, etc. He loves it and grins. He doesn't laugh as much as I remember Audrey laughing at this age and I don't really know why. But, I'm not really worried about it. He's clearly happy and healthy and on the right track developmentally.

Maybe we can even go for a walk today if it doesn't rain the whole time. Well, those are my goals for today.

I better get to work! :D